The first bra I ever bought to impress a boy: it was black with subtle lace around the edge of the cup and a sheer mesh band. I was 13 at Victoria’s Secret, roaming the mall, on a Saturday. I selected a B more for the tag than the fit. It’s a little loose now, this Saturday.
I don’t stalk my exes anymore. Not for any particular reason. I’m not otherwise happily engaged. I stalked each of them for years. I just don’t anymore.
I’m content. Not exactly happy, but in a Buddha-like way, accepting that maybe this is it: maybe I’ll always just be me, alone.
Some people are just better at relationships than others. I’m sure I’ll date other guys, even fill the decades ahead with some multi-year situations. But perhaps, this is it: perhaps my life, on average, will be alone with me.
It’s not because there’s anything wrong with me. I’m very datable, likable, attractive, ambitious: I check every box. But maybe, maybe I’m just not one of those personalities that seamlessly slips into another for a lifetime. Some aren’t. I guess it’s okay.
Even those that appear to be, I know, may not be so forever. Life, and relationships, are ephemeral. There’s times I’ve seemed as close to seamlessness as anyone, there’s many other times I have not. There’s no comparing to others, especially because there’s no comparing on mismatched timelines of romantic success. I guess it’s okay.
I will admit, I have my eye on one guy. I will admit, in this lifetime, I’d prefer to be loved and love in return. I will admit, it looks easier, conventional, fulfilling. But if it doesn’t happen, it will be okay because it has to be okay because the only alternative is a depression, a counter productive mindset worth rejecting. It will be okay.
All the guys I date have a book. A book you’re supposed to read when you date them. A book that lets you see into their head. A book that moved them, shaped their thinking, grounds their intellectualism. It’s important to them that you read the book.
At least 10% of my reading material is the book.
He saw himself out which was eh until I remembered I’d get to wear my retainer that night!!
1. Sweatpants and a messy bun
2. A girlfriend who cooked
3. Large glasses
When your blog post about using a necklace to get guys, gets you guys…
I don’t understand the concept of a one night stand. Like, if you had good sex, why wouldn’t you have more?