confessions · penis

Study buddy

flush

A guy once jerked off to me in a library bathroom. I lost interest in sexting after that

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penis

Just another penis story

“I’m not qualified for Birthright.”
“Why?” I asked, indulging him, as our friends chatted on the other side of the bar.
He paused, looked me straight in the eye, and then replied in a serious and steady tone, “I’m not circumcised.”

ONE MONTH LATER

IMG_8039

hmmm

Why I’m fundamentally opposed to online dating

It reduces market supply of eligible bachelors, therefore reducing probability of cute, offline “how-we-met” stories and therefore, ruining love for all of society; also, since supply of those looking-for-love moves online, offline “meeting someone” becomes less common, those who hit on strangers in real life are reduced to weirdos, and manners for meeting someone new evade present society.

For more information, please see my ex-boyfriend’s roommate’s Huffington Post article.